If Only I Could, an Apology

I may not be a celebrity to do this but I want to extend my deepest apology of being called a "grammar police" in your end in such a way that I was like hmm.......... or you have just considered me sarcastic in any way. As to consider my regretful acknowledgement of this offense, I hope that you will conclusively accept this - from the bottom of my heart because as of this moment, I still can feel the resentment in your end (don't know if this is the right word to describe for such, I apologize again.). It happened last July 2017 and seemingly up to this moment I'm suffering this kind of sentiment especially when I can see in your posts that relate on my end(or maybe I'm kinda paranoid, ain't ?).
You just don't know how I regret for that joke on email (as I considered) that has big of impact in your side. It started to ruin the friendship that I highly appreciated before that thing has happened. I thought it should have been fixed during the party in Ladislawa (Davao City) but turned out to be like cliff-hanger that we have not talked about it at all. What I'm afraid about is the so-called domino effect like some fake news that trend usually in social networking sites nowadays. How I wish I could turn back in time that we had some casual conversation which built a friendship, anyhow.
If you could only know how and what I feel everytime you have some words / posts that hint me or indirectly point towards me.
If you could only observe how I handle things rightfully in terms of "should be a reply / comment" in some cases.
If only you could recall the things we’ve done as colleagues before this mess happened.
If only I don’t have a strong personality, like a fierce one.
If only I could let you wear into my shoe, how should you feel?
If only you could recall the things you’ve done to me after that email joke.
If only you can see the inner side of me that may not be seen superficially.
If only you’ve known me even 10% as they say an audience impact.
         If only you know that it was "no offense meant".
If only you know me more.... and we know each other more... 
         If only ...

        I'm not actually doing this for some reasons except to let you know I'm sincerely apologizing for everything. I know that this won’t automatically be fixed but I’m hoping and praying to make it up to you somehow. I miss joking around with you Ma’am Jay Ann!

From Down Right to Left (Emman in Green, Jay Ann in Pink Red)